I was being guided in an archetypal healing journey with my mentor to connect with my maternal lineage - to the gift and the core wound that had been passed down through the bloodlines.
And POW. It hit me. Abandonment.
This is a wound that I had been carrying for my ancestors. It was not mine. I had never been abandoned, yet I had been unknowingly carrying it forward every. single. day.
I started to become aware of all of the ways in which this wounding filtered my lens of how I perceived EVERYTHING.
It made so much sense - how I always struggled to belong, how as a teenager I would sob for HOURS, thinking that no one loved me, thinking that I was redundant, thinking that I could never be worthy or enough.
It was painful. And in that ceremony, I finally understood.
I understood how being abandoned was a story that I kept playing out to be victim to life. Because... I was afraid of my power. And it felt so much easier to blame someone or something else for abandoning me (letting me down, ditching me, neglecting me, ignoring me, not giving me enough attention... etc.) Because then, I got to have a pity party. And I sure was addicted to feeling sad.
Can you relate in any way?
And in that archetypal healing journey with my mentor - I had the choice to lay the wound to rest. And I did. I finally. Let. It. Go..... For me and my entire bloodline.
And thank Goddess - because now, I choose to belong. Now, I choose to be sovereign. Now, I see how I was the one who actually abandoned me. And now, I get to show up for her every day. I get to be integrated and whole and rest in the spiritual truth that I have never been abandoned nor ever will be.
I know there are so many of us out there who carry this abandonment wound. I recorded a video for you and go into a lot of detail about my thoughts on some of the factors that play into the wound + how to shift it.